Respect Personal Space: I am on Facebook to connect with close friends, family and few associates on the professional side whom I really respect and would want to be a part of beyond a 'business card' relationship. But that's it. If you want to chat about some business idea or have worked with me before or have some random question - connect with me on LinkedIn or just drop me a line. I know - people use Facebook for professional networking too - but most don't. I have had over 2 dozen strangers wanting to become my friend just in the past few weeks.
You were never a friend before - so why now? So this is funny - I was never your friend so why do you want to befriend me now? Has anything changed since high-school / college / work? In fact, I never even talked to you in spite of sitting next tom you for n years.
Accept Rejection: If I rejected your request on any network, I will always give you a reason in my response back. But once I do that, please don't repeatedly ask me to connect with you. It's borderlines on spamming and I will block you.
Don't Spam: I had to drop a few friends and colleagues from some of my networks because of frequent junk messages. Basically spam in its pure and simple form. I also had to get out of groups because of this. So make sure you are careful who you accept in your group and have the moderator monitor that group well before people start dropping out.
Don't ask for introductions without a context: Ever so often, I get these emails from my network asking me to connect them to others I know. You wouldn't behave like this in real life - why online? At least tell me why you want to talk to them? After all - I am being the trusted network link here. What if I start asking you to talk to people without telling you why?
Death By Association: Your mother always told you "Don't make friends who are in bad company". I will drop you if I see you're being friends with people with questionable backgrounds or you're friends with folks with whom I wouldn't necessarily associate myself with.
Don't abuse my network: Facebook does not have advanced features where I can manage my network at each individual contact level neither can I see who has been seeing whom and what on my profile and my friend's profile. Meaning, there are some people in my network I don't want to share with everyone. I had a few people go through my friend list and asking for personal information, requesting to be friends, etc without any reason. Not only will I remove you - but I will block and report you.
Don't embarrass yourself: Guys - stop posting pictures of yourself in your boxes with a beer-can garland around you in Aruba. Some of you are the CEO's and founders of venture funded companies. If you do post these pictures, please make them private or available only to select people. There is absolutely no need to share them with the world. Second, don't say things you wouldn't say in public. This is worse than being in public - there is no audit trail in public. Online - I can see what you said a year ago (unless you deleted it) and apply that to my decision to connect with you or continue keeping you in my network.
Churn: Face it, people come and people go. On my professional network, I monitor your progress and see what you're doing now and where you were when I 1st connected with you. If you were my close colleague (and only a colleague) n years ago with common interests and ideas but now you are somewhere in Hawaii managing a B&B or you are a bar tender in a trendy club, I am not sure we have any commonality. I mean we can still stay in touch - that's why you have email. But when 90% of my professional network expects similar or like minded people around them - I am not sure it would generate any value keeping you around. Close friends and family are different off course. It's like inviting Mark Harris (from Mark Harris Salons) to a biotech start-up valuation discussion at a law firm! Don't be offended. You throw out business cards all the time - don't you?
Be Who You Are: I see a lot of people who tend to pose, rather try to pose, a certain image of themselves online. Why in God's name would you portray yourself as someone else other than your normal self is beyond me. You wouldn't want to be known as MMA fighter or a complete joker in real life if you were a ibanker or a techie - unless you really mean business! Stop posting silly pictures as you. There's no need to brag and feed your ego or just plain embarrass yourself. Grow up! Especially the guys.
Stop Inviting Me from 50 Different Networks: This is INCREDIBLY annoying. You have a profile on Facebook and on LinkedIn. I have already connected with you on one of them and I have better things to do other than manage profiles on different platforms. Why in the world would you create a profile on a dozen platforms and spam your network? It tells me you have a lot of time and have nothing better to do in life. It also tells me you are distracted. Beyond that - don't EXPECT others to be on the network you are on. It's like telling someone - well - I only communiate via SMS. Ok - then that's your problem buddy! Because I prefer email or a phone call. Besides, you asked me to talk to you so how about extending the courtesy of engaging some common communication tool. I get such emails at least once every 2-3 days. Mostly from people whom I have rejected in the past from LinkedIn or Facebook or folks who do this for a living! :)
Content if King But Context is King Kong: I received a few resumes for a certain position I was helping a company fill a while ago. Do I care about the BS you have to say on your resume - no! I just searched for you - found you on various networks and skimmed through what you had to say and whether you are who you say you are and looked at your friends. I am sorry but if you have an online presence that is made public, I will look for you. In fact, that is my default path I pursue before I seek out to meet anyone now. What do you think HR departments, hiring managers, start-ups, VC's, etc look for the best and brightest? Monster? :) Think again . . . .
The discussion above is an attempt by me to point out the proof that your online identity, behavior and persona should replicate your physical self. We're not living in a parallel universe here. Don't treat your network differently than how you would off-line.
Here are a few blogs entries written by others on a similar topic that concur to what I say here:
While driving to work this morning, I noticed that I now have a 'trash bag' in my car. 10 years ago, I did not have one. My car is not the primary family car neither do I eat in my car other than a granola bar. I still land up generating enough trash per week to change my trash bag once a week. That was not the most comforting feeling that in the ~3 hours every weekday that I spend in the car (=15 Hours), I generate an entire bag of trash which is outside my daily normal activity of lunch, diner, breakfast, etc.
